Blog 24: Quote 1

I changed my argument; so I thought I should explain what’s going on here. My new argument is that people hide who they are to get what they want. For example, if you want someone to like you, you will likely hide the things you believe to be negative attributes and stress the positive ones.

We’ve all met someone new and thought, this person doesn’t know anything about me; I could literally tell them whatever I want. But, why isn’t who you really are good enough, or interesting enough? We all have things about ourselves that we are ashamed of or something we wish we could change. However, when you are making a first impression, you don’t want that to be apparent. Because we want to make ourselves seem interesting, intelligent, and like we’ve got it going on, we may hide certain attributes or tell a white lie. There has been a significant amount of research done in the field of psychology as to why we feel the need to act in this way. According to Thomas Rodebaugh, Ph.D. “If one assumes that any negative evaluation one receives will be accurate and stem from one’s personal properties, it seems natural to avoid evoking such evaluation, potentially by hiding one’s personal characteristics (91). What he means by this is that if we perceive that showing a certain characteristic or telling someone something about ourselves will result in them judging us in a negative fashion, we tend to stay away from revealing these things about ourselves. No one wants to be looked down on or treated like they are abnormal somehow. This is why people put on a bit of a show the first time you meet them, or even in the beginning of your relationship. Whether the relationship is strictly a friendship, or something more, after you have known that individual for some time, it usually becomes apparent all the negative qualities that they hid away in the beginning.

Rodebaugh, Thomas. "Hiding the Self and Social Anxiety: The Core Extrusion Schema Measure." Cognitive Therapy & Research 33.1 (2009): 90-109. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 28 Jan. 2011.